24 WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

Recently the Big Brother Africa housemates have had cause to examine abusive relationships, leading to alarming revelations from housemates Cleo and Beverly, declaring that they have at some point in their past been in abusive relationships. (This article is not a 'lets hate on beverly festival, so if that's what you're looking for ite really time to stop reading). The housemates discussions come at a time when abusive relationships are almost common place in the news, and even more so because the the females often choose to stand by their abusive men. How do women (men sef) get into such  relationships? How do men turn around and abuse this women they had presumably professed love to at some point? Why do this women put up with it? Why do they go back to these men? Today we discuss 24 signs that you may be in an abusive relationship.


Abusive relationships never start out that way, as a matter of fact they start out like just about any other loving relationship.The abuse (whether emotional or physical) slips in gradually and is slowly accepted and forgiven because of its calm progression. It progesses so slowly that the abused person doesn't even realise that they are being abused until it comes to a head.Their partner often slips from extra loving to abusive and back, so easily that it almost seems normal. In fact true to feminine nature such abuse is rarely (if ever talked) about for as long as the relationship is a going concern.So how can you tell if you are in an abusive relationship before someone gets hurt? What are some of the warning signs?


While this list is not exhaustive, it is also not an authority on abusive relationships.This are some signs that you may be in an abusive relationship


- You’re afraid to break up with them, and its not because you think you can't live without them

-You feel tied down, like you have to check-in or account for your whereabouts. As a matter of fact you absolutely have to give account for your whereabouts.

- You feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects because the other person gets too mad

-You are afraid to contradict them.

-You convince yourself that if you just try harder and love him/her enough everything will get better

- You find yourself crying a lot, being depressed or unhappy

-You find yourself using more drugs or alcohol to deal with the anxiety or fear in the relationship or to numb yourself out

- You spend your time worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy

-You feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time

-You find the physical, verbal, mental or emotional abuse is getting worse over time

-You are being cut off from family members and friends more and more

-You partner makes decisions about where to go or what to do with little or no input from you

- You are often belittled and called names when the two of you are alone

-You are often embarrassed and humiliated in front of others, or your partner talks about you as if you are not there

-You are having sex that is forced or rougher than you prefer

- You find the intensity you had in the beginning of the relationship quickly waning

-You are being treated like a servant by your partner

-You are prevented from having access to your own money or the family’s money

-Money is used to control and manipulate you

-You are made to feel guilty about your children, as he/she tells you the children need a two parent home

- Your children are used to relay messages between you and your partner

- He/she threatens to take your children away from you

- Your partner denies the abuse,making you feel crazy

-You are feeling intimidated by your partner when they hit objects, abuse pets, brandish weapons, or verbally threaten you

If you are feeling this way in your relationship, try to talk to someone. Talk to a friend or family member you can trust.  It’s important to deal with this before you get hurt. Love should not be about fear. If you have children, it’s even more important to get help. Children learn their relationship patterns from their parents. If you are being abused, you are teaching your children to either;
1) be abuse victims or
 2) be abuse perpetrators.

You probably learned this pattern by watching your own parents. This cycle of abuse that is handed down from generation to generation has to stop somewhere.If you have ever been,or are presently being abused, speak out, lend your words to the campaign against abuse in any form, and speak out to strenthen your resolve for a better life.

For emotional/physical abuse to end someone has to speak out, walk out, take action. Let it be you!!