Becoming Claire Fredrickson - Episode 4

Frank and I started a wonderful affair. He was funny, charming and rich. I loved him, a lot more than I had ever loved anyone else i realize, but then I was never ever in love with anyone other than myself it seems.

I didn’t worry about Bode or any of the other girls finding out about us. I was having way too much fun and Bode never stressed about us having other relationships. He always stressed that fidelity wasn’t one of his strong suits so he didn’t expect it from us. The other girls knew about Frank and I but they didn’t care. It was none of their business.

Frank was the perfect gentlemen, I told him I had a boyfriend but I didn’t reveal the peculiar nature of my relationship with Bode. The less he knew the better. I just said it was complicated. That statement had a way of excusing the most unforgivable lies of omission.

Bode didn’t take the news of this my new found love as well as I expected. I had moved from avoiding him to flat out ignoring him. He sulked about it for a few days then buried himself in his work. I didn’t care I figured when he was done sulking he would pick another favorite. I was bored and I wasn’t going to apologize for having a little fun, besides all the other girls were doing it.
Sheila didn’t have an opinion about Frank, and I didn’t ask her for one. I don’t know why but I thought she might not approve.  I was having way to much fun to risk her telling me he was wrong for me.

The day it all came crashing down was an exceptionally sunny  Friday. Frank had offered to cook dinner for me if I promised to spend the weekend at his place. I knew I couldn’t spend the weekend with him but I wanted him to cook for me anyways. I spent the day lingerie shopping, I wanted it to be romantic. I had plans of eating dinner in my lingerie. Frank loved that kind of thing.
When I got home it was already past five. So I napped for a bit and had a shower and tried to find a nice dress to wear to Frank’s. As we weren’t going to go out there was no need for anything fancy, but there’s always need for something sexy(if you know what I mean). I finally found the perfect dress that said sexy without trying too hard.

I was already running late when Bode walked in and saw me about to head out. He asked where I was going to. My first impulse was to lie but I didn’t think it was wise. Besides Bode wasn’t the jealous type(or so I thought at the time). So I decided to tell him I had a date. The look in his eyes as the words came out of my mouth was the worst thing I have seen in all my life. It looked like a glow that was dying out. Like the youth had been drained from his eyes and he was suddenly 50 years older. He looked both hurt and anxious at the same time,  like I had taken the light out of his life.

I was confused, I didn’t know why Bode reacted like that. Why did he have that look? Didn’t he want me to go out? All the other girls had other lovers? And he always said we weren’t exclusive so what was his problem? So I considered the impossible. Was Bode in love with me? In my narcissism and in spite of my arrogance, I realized I may have missed it. He was always more gentle with me than any of the other girls. He spent more on me than any of the other girls. He had changed my car twice since I had been with him and he gave me a diamond bracelet on my birthday.

As I was going over all these confusing and conflicting thoughts in my head, trying to make sense of what was going on between Bode and I in that brief second before he responded, Bode did the unthinkable.

Bode asked me to marry him....I was paralyzed.