FRIDAY RANTS : WORLD WAR FLAT STOMACH

It is time to put pen to paper my fellow girls or since I love to come up with my own whimsical phrases I will say fingers to key board. I have always busied my self with the notion that when i become famous for all my amazing achievements among all the questions i would be asked they would ask.

‘what will you not be caught dead wearing?’

And I would say tight clothes.

I can almost hear my self in the gym, pushing myself, enduring, telling myself I can do it at all costs and I get up from the exerball dizzy like I just got off a roller coaster.

Oh yes I love short fitted gowns, never mind the charade I am putting up about tight clothes, if I had the body for them I would wear them throughout my life, in fact twenty four seven. I just make these choices and statements to justify my situation. Although now that I am still pushing myself everyday I respect my self and wear all the large shirts uncles and aunties buy at the airport when they come back from their summer holidays.Yoruba girls, no stereotype, ok girls in general, round neck shirts and tight jeans(jeggings), that trend never made me happy and then colour blocking, no way

As a woman the key to a tight short gown is not even the legs anymore. Joan Rivers would forgive you as long as you shave them and have nice shoes on. So I don’t worry about my K legs. To be honest I am proud of them, all I keep in my mind when I want to cause some show stopping effect is

‘put one foot in front of the next, yes one by one, there you go girl’

And that’s it, all the encouragement I need, courtesy me. The key sexy women is a flat stomach, yes it accentuates your curves brings out the contours, makes you look sexy. So yes that’s why I run to the gym every morning.

‘are you pregnant?’
Tolu would ask me every time we decided to hang out. I stopped answering at some point, until I started wondering do i actually look pregnant? I cant be like Kim k or Beyonce I don’t have the money to keep up, besides I don’t have fans. In short I don’t want to be like either of them. By the way my current display picture is of Beyonce in a tight hug with Jay-z.

‘its just because you are friendly and sweet and we take turns in paying for the drinks that’s why we are still friends ,I hate girls with bulging stomachs’

Tolu is so mean but he speaks the truth, I am very defensive.

‘I do not wear tight clothes I respect my body’ how will any one ever figure out my stomach is big or bulging.

‘that’s why you are still single my dear and you should start wearing your size more often, you are very curvy just get rid of that thing’

His facial expression like I was carrying his unwanted baby, these men they want a Chopped champion in their kitchen a Kim k in their beds, a Michelle Obama for outings and so on, in short they want everything. Yet most of us have decided to just settle for fat bank accounts on their side of the bargain, and its still a constant struggle.
Everybody, even the obese girls were thrilled to tell Beyonce and the rest that Adele dint take off any clothes to win her Grammys. Oh well does she have the body? The flat stomach? Please do not get me wrong those are not criteria’s in any way.
The simple truth is if you have something especially when its God given, no one will tell you to flaunt it.

Dear guys, I know the feeling, you marry a sexy skinny woman today tomorrow the two of you are both pregnant. Yes oh, we also like the abs the six packs, the biceps. Hit the gym every once in a while run a mile or two, we had to get pregnant, you did not have to, so encourage us. put that fire under our buttocks. it is really a team effort.

I so can not wait to see Tolu in the next ten years. He has put all the fire under my buttocks and left none for himself.lol